I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
