This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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