you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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