It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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