I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
