Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
