She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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