Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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