i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
