did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
