K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
