he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
