I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
