We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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