You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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