I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
