My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
