she was so not down for the gang bang
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
