Three words: puerto rican gang bang
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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