HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
