Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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