This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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