woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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