Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
PANTIES FOUND
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
