You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
