.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
