Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I would fuck him just for his dog
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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