I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
