go do what you do best...puke behind churches
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
