Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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