How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
