don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
