My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
