Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
