I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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