i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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