sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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