I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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