Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
