Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
