Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
