I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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