You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
