I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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