Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
