I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Rumble strips road head = magical
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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