Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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