The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
