apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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