i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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